


On the Long Road

by whiteravenwrites17



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-07-29 08:59:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 12,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7678174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiteravenwrites17/pseuds/whiteravenwrites17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An au where John Smith and Clara Oswald are best friends, until Clara moves and lives with her boyfriend Richie. John shows up on Clara’s doorstep offering a trip across America, but Richie has other ideas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

  Clara stood with her best friend John in her driveway, it was a beautiful autumn day with the crisp leaves starting to fall her friend's now rundown blue Impala was sitting in her driveway. It was towed unfortunately and John had to sit in a truck with the driver. He promised Clara a road trip and that's what she would get, it would only take a few days to fix the Impala. Clara on the other hand didn't seem to like the idea that she was driving in a vintage Impala that could possibly stop working any minute.

“John, you know how much I love your car but we’re not going in it,” Clara laughed.

“Of course we can!” John protested.

He leaned against the car, gently touching it. His car was a blue vintage Impala, the door made squeaks and the wheels made the whole car jump.

“I just don’t feel safe driving in it John, and anyway it just broke down,” Clara pointed out.

 

John feigned a fake appalled face and patted his car lovingly. Clara rolled her eyes as Richie, her boyfriend coming up behind her. “Here comes the fluorescent pudding brain,” John mumbled, Clara gave him a sharp look before giving her boyfriend a quick kiss.

 

Richie was young and a lawyer, he had red wavy hair an and a thick Irish accent. John did not like him already, from what Clara had told him, he was overprotective of her he didn’t seem to think that a lawyer was really Clara’s type. Clara had told him to give Richie a chance and that was a risk he had to take. Richie was much younger than him, in his early thirties and John looked at his middle aged fifty-one year old body and sighed he had missed being young.

 

Richie knew Clara’s history with John: he was her professor at college, they had slept together once, John quit his job to stay with her but then Clara wasn’t interested in a romantic relationship with him. Richie knew John was too old for her and didn’t approve of their friendship. Richie wanted to be with Clara to keep an eye on John.

 

Clara knew he was overprotective of her, which she never asked for.

“She’s not going with you alone. You have a reputation,” Richie snapped.

John crossed his arms and with angry eyes looked at Richie. “I didn’t know you were the kind to listen to rumors”.

“Only when the rumors are true,” Richie replied sharply.

“I can look after myself,” Clara told him softly.

“I’m going,” Richie said firmly.

 There was clearly no time to argue, Clara showed John into her new apartment. It was nothing what John imagined it to be, he imagined there would have been Beatles posters and Florence and the Machine posters, when he walked in his heart sank. There were a thousand pictures of Richie and Clara, from being at the beach to snuggling in bed. The room was a gentle cloud grey with white bedsheets.

“I never thought you were the type to be like this,” he gestured towards the room as Clara, his best friend gave him a questioning look. “I thought there would be pictures of your favorite bands. I don’t see pictures of your friends...or me”.

“I grew up,” she told him, she could hear the disappointment in his voice.

She folded a blanket that was on her couch and folded it nicely. “Clara, look at you folding laundry this isn’t you! You were adventurous, we used to travel together all the time, remember? With Amy and Rory?”.

“I remember," she replied truthfully but her voice was like reminiscing it as if she was saying goodbye. Her voice was almost sharp. "when I was in college. Now I’m a grownup, living with a guy I really like. You and me, travelling for the last time..the final hurrah”.

 

The smile from his face vanished like fog on a mirror.

“You mean...this is goodbye?” his voice was choking. 

Clara took a deep sigh, and brushed a strand of her brown hair behind her ear. "You and me...this whole situation doesn’t fit. I’m sorry truly I am”.

“Since when did you care what other people think?” he asked, incredulous.

This woman who used to pick out places to travel who lived like a hippie was now living like housewife. “I have a duty of care, I just want to see you happy”.

“I know,” she replied sadly. “You’re my best friend”.

She stepped forward and pulled him into a hug, a little surprised but slowly returned her hug cradling the back of her head as he snuggled closer so that his head perfectly fit in the crook on her neck. 

“Everything you’re about to say I already know-” she cut off swallowing the painful gulp building in her throat. “don’t say it now we already have enough bad timing”.

 

Whenever he said those words what he meant was “I love you”. Years he had build walls trying to push her away repeating to himself that she was his best friend and he didn’t want to destroy what they had. Only did last year his walls started to crumble down, he had hugged her more and wanted to be with her.

  
  


Ooo

The three sat down for an uncomfortable dinner, Richie looking at John stealing looks from Clara. This was their last trip, one last hurrah and one last laugh. Clara decided for a few days for John to stay here with her, Richie wasn’t going to be here long and had a business trip. She just how to break it to Richie that John that staying here with her. She had hated to admit it but she loved that old blue Impala and the fresh wind in her face and she wanted nothing more than to be in it instead of a monster truck.

Finally as Clara insisted on doing the dishes she talked to Richie as he dried them. “Listen Richie, John is going to be staying here for a few days while his Impala is being fixed”.

 

“What? No, I’m not having that man in our home”.

 

“Richie, it’s my home too and he can stay if he wants”.

 

“I’m just jealous, I’m afraid you’ll fall into his arms like you did all those years ago,” Richie replied. Clara took his hand at this point and gave him a flirtatious smile that seemed to speak a language of their own convincing him to allow Clara to get her way and she always did. “Fine”.

 

Clara let out a yelp of joy and kissed him firmly.  

After going into bed, Clara’s nose was buried in her book Richie gave her a quick kiss. In the darkness all she could think about was John, something was different this time about him. His cold demeanor was softened, since Richie she had pushed John away. One her best friend and one her lover, she found her heart torn in two. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having a friend sleepover while your crushing on them is totally platonic right? And domestic fluff ensues.

 

 

  Richie gave Clara a long kiss before going into the car. Clara hated to say goodbyes, if she had to choose the saddest goodbyes she would chose saying goodbye to John a year ago and this one for who knew how sad partings would be. Slamming the driver’s seat Clara waved at him and walked up to John.

 

       “About Richie-”

 

      “It’s okay,” he interrupted. “Don’t worry about it”. 

 

       “It’s not he was being rude and don’t worry we had a good long conversation this morning,” she promised him opening the red door to her house. 

 

      “Is it okay if we go on this ‘little’ adventure?” he asked hesitantly. “Richie doesn’t seem happy about it”. 

 

       “He’s just surprised that I have guy friends,” she explained. 

 

       “I wonder why,” John remarked sarcastically. 

 

  Clara opened a bottle of wine and poured a glass for the both of them. She turned on the television in the living room and tried to pick a movie that they would both enjoy. She couldn’t remember the last time the two of them hung out like this. 

 

  She felt a wave of nostalgia, the memories of sitting in the car with Amy and Rory travelling around the world with John’s retirement money. Clara and Amy were particularly close the memories of laughter filled her head. Then she remembered wanting to settle down and start teaching kids, and wanting to have kids on her own. John called it ‘growing up’.

 

  While watching their favorite movie, Return of the Jedi. Clara had to admit that the Doctor dragged her into Star Wars when she was still in school it was one of her favorite movies that she fell asleep too. Falling asleep on John’s arm, he left to go to his room and put a soft wool blanket. He turned off the the television the screen bright in his eyes from getting used to the darkness. 

 

   “John?” Clara asked still sleepy. “Could you carry me up?”

 

   “Sure,” he smiled at her as she put her arms around his neck by instinct. “But I’ll blame you if my back aches in the morning”.

 

   She gave a weak laugh and said “Shut up”. 

 

  Putting his hand under her legs for support he opened the door to her room as he found the shape of her bed through the darkness. He tucked her in in her floral blankets and closed the door quietly on the way out. “Goodnight Doctor,” she said. 

 

“Goodnight Clara,” he smiled, it’s been a long time since she called him that. 

 

ooo

‘Doctor’ was name given to his friends, he never really told anyone his real name until many years later when he found it childish, he had never told anyone people called him that until Clara. At night he forced himself not to think about Clara in the next room. 

Clara stared at lines on her ceiling and forced herself to think about Richie and how much she missed him, the only image that was coming into her mind was John’s. She remembered when she first met John, she was in college studying English. There was an instant spark between the two of them, Clara had a crush on him and John found himself instantly infatuated with her. One night went as even far as sleeping together as he remembered what had resulted in that. He remembered how Clara instantly didn’t want to be with him and thought they would be better off as friends. Clara had regretted that decision every moment in their friendship and now she regretted it, it took all of her strength to not go next door to him. 

  
  


When Clara woke up the smell of pancakes filled the air, she smiled and put on her blue silk robe and put her semi neat hair in a bun. She heard John singing, although rather off key, he still had bed hair, his silver hair unkempt. 

 

He was startled by the short brown haired brown eyed woman standing in the doorway, laughing. “This is not funny!” he pointed out. She couldn’t take him seriously with a piece of dough of his nose. She took it off of him, taking in his blue incredible eyes.

“Thank you making breakfast!” she told him looking at the current pancakes in the pan. 

“I woke up early than you- I was bored”. 

 

“You get bored easily,” she pointed out getting a pancake onto her plate. 

 

“You’ve made your point,” he said grumpily looking down at his own plate of pancakes. 

 

He poured maple syrup on both of their pancakes and ate them quietly. “Thank you,” she said again. 

 

“You said that”

 

“I know, just Richie won’t even make breakfast for me,” Clara said sadly giving him a polite smile. 

 

“Is he a fluorescent pudding brain?”

 

Clara laughed and gave him a sharp look. “It’s not just that, it’s not really a relationship he just gives me pleasure- it’s not how it started out”.

 

“Then why are you with him?” he asked. 

 

For the first time she didn’t have an answer. After breakfast, Clara took and shower and started to pack for a four month road trip. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment :D


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos now let's see what trouble these get in. 
> 
> Notes:
> 
> Kent is 1 hour and 40 minutes from NYC

  
Clara was welcomed by large sound coming from her alarm clock. The red reflection shown in her eyes from her phone. That’s strange she didn’t remember setting her alarm, then slowly remembering John had put her to bed. They were getting close and she had to try to remember Richie. Opening her blinds John was packing the Impala.

She ran out to greet him. “Hey, I thought your ‘TARDIS’ wasn’t going to be fixed for another few days”.

He smirked at her comment, TARDIS was an old nickname for his Impala.

“I insisted fixing it by myself, I spent almost all morning doing it. I have really bad insomnia”.

“You really should take care of that,” Clara laughed as she went back into the house to grab more snacks.

There was no cure for insomnia, the reason he couldn’t fall asleep was the constant thought of Clara in the next room. As he put his carry on bag in the front seat as Clara jumped in the front. She put her phone in and the bluetooth and asked, “You want to play music?”.

The engine sprung into life as they both made their way out in the driveway as Clara put the GPS on. “Sure”.

“First off where are we going?” there was excitement and thrill in her voice.

“We’ll go to New York City first then sleep there for a couple of days. I know you like the big apple, although why you left England I’ll never know”.

Clara gave a small laugh. “You know I would like to go to Sleepy Hollow cemetery, I heard it’s haunted”.

As David Bowie music started playing through the speakers, John gave her a playful look as he shrugged giving her an assurance they’ll pass by. Clara left her past in England, when her mother died of cancer she went to college, met John and went to America when she and John lost contact. Emails and skype didn’t seem to do the trick, the flew to each other often Clara joked once that it was a ‘long distance relationship’. Of course the idea of making their friendship more occurred to the both of them mutually, it hung in the air awkwardly as both of them tried to remain their distance afraid of ruining what they had. John wanted to her to be with someone her age, but the the constant ache of Clara being happy with someone else burned in his heart.

Riding in the car was a mixture of sixties music and Ingrid Michaelson, of arguing, teasing and laughing for a second Clara seemed to forget Richie. That’s what travelling with the Doctor felt like that you were free and no stress and cares existed, it was her and the Doctor as it should be.

At some point of the ride Clara had taken out her camera on her phone and pressed the record button. “Clara, what are you doing?”

“Filming,” she explained, her brown eyes dancing. “let’s play twenty questions”.

“If you were paying attention you would notice that I’m driving and can’t talk. And besides you know I don’t like being recorded”.

“Oh come don’t be such a grumpy puss. Ask me a question”.

She made her best puppy dogs eyes, at this moment she could see he was trying hard not to smile. “Fine. But you go first and don’t let your eyes inflate”.

She gave a mock salute. “Yes, sir”.

“Didn’t we do this before like a long time ago?”

With his thick Scottish accent his tongue rolled on the ‘o’ making her trying to remember the promise to herself to keep her distance. “Once, but a lot has happened since then”.

“Agreed. Alright, what are you doing for a living? Looking to become a teacher?”

"Well, first off that’s two questions. But yes I’m looking to teach English once Richie and I settle down”.

She heard him gulp audibly. “Settle down? Aren’t you living together?”

"Well one day..we thought about getting married”.

He gave a small, “Oh. Haven’t you been dating for four months? Isn’t that a little too early to be-”.

“Next question,” she said rather too loudly.

At this point they wanted to stop at Long Beach first, John had made the turn signal as he got the folding chairs out as he realized Clara’s camera was still filming. What if Richie sees that camera? What if he breaks up with Clara just because of a stupid game that they had played when they were bored?

Clara came behind him with a beach chair and a blanket with a camera and sat beside him. With the red still blinking it was still recording. “Is it my turn?”

“Yes”

“Have you met anyone lately?”

There was a hesitation in her voice as if she afraid of what is answer was going to be. He hesitated looking into the lens of the camera, running his fingers through his unruly hair. Why was he hesitating? “Hey you don’t have to answer”.

“It’s okay. Do you remember Missy?”

“How could I forget?”

“We had a fling once a long time ago”.

“Oh,” Clara said in realization.

All the sudden she started to laugh as he playfully pushed her knocking the camera to the ground. For a moment Clara forgot about the camera and so did John. They both stared at each other, their breaths synchronized as they watched the sky as if it was on fire in a brilliant incandescent red.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank Peppe pizza is an actual pizzeria.

As the orange red sun had lost itself in a blanket of darkness and stars John and Clara left Long Island Beach. Both of them forgot the moment they shared, it seemed like a mutual silent agreement. Clara read her books with her legs in an awkward position, as somehow during sleep her head found a place on the door of the passenger seat.  John had turned his music off as Clara was listening to her own, he pulled a blanket from the backseat and laid it over her. 

 

Turning the headlights on as John made a left turn to Holiday Inn. It was nearly midnight, Clara had woke up in a jolt as the car lights shown in her face. Recovering from the glare Clara had got her carry on and her suitcase following the shape of John in the moonlight. 

 

Clara lazily rested her head against John as he checked in, he looked down at her a little annoyed as the man behind the desk said the only bedroom left was a one bed. This seemed to jolt Clara up. “What?! You don’t have anything else?”

 

“That’s all we have available,” the man replied. 

 

Clara tugged on the fabric of John’s coat. “Bribe him”. 

 

John ignored him. “We’ll take it”. 

 

He walked ahead of Clara as she followed him into the elevator. She grunted and mumbled something like “an idiot”. Grabbing the key out of his pocket he hovered it over the door knob waiting for the green light to flash. She slammed the door behind them to get his attention. “Well which one of us is sleeping on the couch?”.

 

“The couch is uncomfortable especially for my back, so you are”.

 

“I’m absolutely not!”

 

“There is only one bed, Clara”. 

 

Clara glanced at the bed at sighed, she went into bathroom with her pajamas and turned on the shower. The hot steam fogged the mirror she heard John laughing, the walls weren’t that thick. She grunted as she took the shampoo and squirted it on her palm running it through her short brown hair. 

 

Coming out of the shower a towel was wrapped around her brown hair. She fell asleep next to John who’s back was turned to the window. She felt a hand grab was her pulling her against him, his face now looking at hers but eyes were still closed. “But-”

 

“Shh, just for one night,” he told her. 

 

She felt the grip on her back increase as she was pulled closer, her hands found a way to his chest, one thumb resting against the fabric of his Beatles shirt. She at last fell asleep and let the darkness take her. 

 

ooo

In the morning she got a call from Richie, asking her how everything was, his protective envious side came out. He was willing to be Clara when she said they were friends although after last night she wasn’t sure. Her hair was still in a messy bun, she pushed it out of her view and closed her phone burying her face in her hands.

 

Her heart was torn in two, John had made some pretty clear arguments yesterday but on the other day she was mad at him for making her see more clearly. She spent half the night in his embrace when she came back into consciousness, amazed that she fell asleep in his arms. One was around her stomach and the other underneath her arm. She had slowly slid out of him and put the blankets in it’s original position as if she had never slept there and went to the couch, waking up with a sore neck. 

 

Making breakfast Clara had a bagel and watched as the sun rose from the horizon. 

 

She heard the shower turn on  as he came out in a blue button down shirt. “Hey, how did you sleep?”

“Fine,” she lied. 

 

“Already we’re going from New York City to Kent, there is a great pizza place and a path to a waterfall. It’s gorgeous”. 

 

“Sounds good,” she agreed. 

 

After getting dressed the two went outside and went into the blue Impala. As the engine sprung into life rain had started to pour. 

  
  


Taking a bite out of her tuna sandwich, the two had sat together by the water. It was that time when Clara had broken the silence, they had sat close together now getting used to it but still the undeniable hard energy that was between them. 

 

“We haven’t finished the twenty questions yet,” she pointed out. 

 

“Oh that’s right. We left off at Missy, right?”

 

“Yeah. Wasn’t Missy- I don’t know, crazy?”

 

“Yeah she was, but she offered support when I wasn’t feeling right. I was going through a tough time in my life after you went to America”.

 

“So why did you come to America?”

 

“I...missed you”.

 

She playfully nudged him in the shoulder forcing her to look at him, which she promised herself never to look at him too long because she knew if she looked hard enough she won’t be able to look away. “I missed you too,” she admitted. 

 

She leaned onto his shoulder as she felt a arm go around hers, squeezing her close. “Doctor, I-”. 

 

“Just shut up and enjoy the moment,” he told her.

 

She nuzzled an inch her nose touching the skin on his neck it made her skin dance and her eyes darken. 


	5. Chapter 5

 

“You shouldn’t have done that,” Clara said as they were driving from New York to Massachusetts. It was a five hour drive, they had gotten pizza and fast food on the way.

 

“Done what?”

 

“Holding me close looking, at me as if I’m your everything,” she explained.

 

“Ahhh,” he said in realization. “I see. If you insist”.

 

“I do”.

 

The words felt like a lie hanging heavy on her tongue, it was a lie and felt hard to say it. For the past few days on this road trip she had tried to distance herself, she was an incredibly good liar especially to herself. He was her everything, he was her best friend and that one night when they forgot they were friends and just lovers, when they forgot rules and there were just each other. She looked out the window, they were in New Mexico at this point seeing wild horses running so fast it looked like they were flying.

 

At this point it seemed to Clara as if they were running away, with no destination to where they were going. As they pulled over for gas, Clara took out her phone and as if on queue Richie called her first. He wanted her to come home.

 

“So you’ve done this before?” he asked.

 

“Yes,” she said burying her face in her hands.

 

“So everytime I’m on a business trip you elope with him?”

 

“I don’t elope with him!” Clara almost yelled.

 

“So what are you doing?”

 

“He’s not my boyfriend-he’s- I don’t know what he is to me. Or what I am to him”.

 

“When you have an answer let me know, because I really had enough of the lies,” he told her, his impatience was like a knife.

 

 Seeing him paying for the gas Clara buttoned her jean jacket and headed towards the car, taking out her phone again she turned on cellular data and checked the forecast telling her it was going to thunder and rain soon. The roll of thunder started to come as she felt the vibration of it on the seat. The engine sprung into life as the Doctor got into the car.

 

     “Was that Ritchie?” the Doctor asked, he wasn’t looking at her but at the storm that was coming near them, threatening a flood on the roads they might have to stop at a motel.

 

     “Yes, he’s not happy. But I don’t care what he thinks I do what I want, right?”

 

     A wide smile came to his face, a smile that was for her only. “Right”.

 

    “So where to next?” she asked with renewed excitement.

 

    “It looks like a thunderstorm so we might have to go to a motel and get breakfast. Is that okay with you?”

 

     “Yes captain,” she said with a mock salute.

 

He gave her an annoyed smirk and started driving as Clara put her headphones and blasted the music. Clara liked the angle because she could see the silhouette of the Doctor as he drove, fixated on the long road, his aquiline nose supporting his sunglasses. She opened the case of her phone where her picture of Ritchie was. No, this was the right decision Ritchie couldn’t tell her who to be with. She wanted John so badly but he was always her best friend and that seemed impossible to mess up.

 

     “In all fair honesty I never thought Ritchie was right for you,” the Doctor said through the silence.

    Clara looked at him and then at the rain, he was right she knew that. Sleeping peacefully, she slept until the sun rose she was already in the twin bed text to the Doctor’s. She was still in her clothes as the day before, a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and a blazer were on the the foot on the bed.

 

    “What time is it?” she asked through a yawn.

 

    “It’s almost midnight, do you want to go to a bar?”

 

    “Not really, why?”

 

    “You were mumbling in your sleep, I think Ritchie upset you more than you let on”.

 

     Clara gave a small smile and went into the bathroom to change her clothes. She put on a shade of pink lipstick and curled a bit of her hair and put to the side, she but a shade of pink blush and stepped out. The Doctor was wearing a blazer, a color matching her own with a black and white polka dot shirt. There was a hint of scruff on his beard, it was at this moment when Clara felt an itch between her legs.

 

     For the first time Clara felt speechless, she gave herself a good view of what was in front of her. “You look sharp”.

 

    “Why is your face all colored in?”

 

    “It’s make-up you idiot,” she laughed.

 

    “Right, sorry. What I meant to say is that you look stunning”.

 

    “Thank you,” said Clara as he offered his arm she took it with a laugh they went into the car and drove off together.

 

  

      Entering the bar, it was filled with smoke and loud music, Clara felt the grip on her hand as he lead her towards the bar. They ordered two glasses of wine, and smiled at each other.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY WAIT NO I'M NOT

 “Are ya trying to get me drunk Doctor?” Clara asked. Now she can only see the blurry shape of him. He was holding her steady now in his arms, her legs was as loose as jelly as the bright lights flashed in her eyes.

 

 “I’m not trying to,” he said quite seriously. 

 

“Well, I think we’ve established that. You’re right and it’s your fault, you brought me here. I could have been banging the shit out of Ritchie now, but I’m here with you. And do you want to know why?”

 

 He looked away from her, trying to avoid the truth which had been becoming easier for him over almost two weeks. There he was lying again. “You’re drunk”.

 

“That’s right and it’s your fault, you brought me here. I could have been banging the shit out of Ritchie now, but I’m here with you. And do you want to know why?”

 

John laughed nervously, she was going to continue anyway. “Because I wanted you. Oh come on, don’t tell me you don’t want to take advantage of me?”

 

 “Clara, you don’t know what you are talking about”.

 

She rested her head against his chest, as he was staring up at the ceiling trying not to think about the woman that was holding him close, her arms going to his waist her toxic breath in his neck. Having her so close and so small Clara could feel his hardness. “I want you- I need you more than I ever wanted anyone”.

 

John gulped audibly. “You’re drunk, and you’re not thinking clearly”.

 

Now she looked rather emotional and serious her mascara was smeared for the dancing, the sweat coming down her neck, it made his arousal even more unbearable

 

 “In the morning I won’t remember this- but I’ll say it now I like you a little more than a friend,” she said finally.

 

  Before he could stop her she kissed, a first very disorientated and then he could feel himself kiss her back. She tasted like gin, wine and the night sky. He couldn’t take advantage of her like this, he needed to take her home and distance himself from her, place himself on the couch and her on the better much more softer bed.

 

  She fell unconscious against him as he carried her out, she was heavy from someone of her height. He covered her head with his hand to not bump her head on the dead and buckled the seatbelt for her. This was uncomfortable on him since his mouth was so close to hers, she flickered her eyes and saw him.

 

  “Well, I was right”.

 

  “Clara, I-”

 

  “I know, shush. Just for one night, let’s stop with the lies”.

 

  _Stop with the lies_. Oh, he wished but it wasn’t right she was still with Ritchie.

 

  “Let’s go home,” he said and sat back in the driver’s seat.

 

 John felt a red sting against his cheek when he realized Clara had slapped him. “Clara!”

 

  “You idiot! I practically threw myself at you and you reject me! You think because I’m drunk and fucked up that I don’t mean what I said. Those words have been in my mouth since we first started traveling together! If you think that I’m go to tolerate you ignoring me like this then I’ll leave tomorrow!”

 

  “Clara,” he sighed with a smile, oh God he was smiling why was he smiling? “I’ve wanted you for a long time, but this isn’t the right time or place. You’re still with Richie and I don’t want to be that man in the relationship that just stands in the background waiting”.

 

 “I know, just take me home”.


	7. Chapter 7

 

John didn’t sleep, he stared at the ceiling looking at the cracks and the molding. He left unconscious Clara on the sofa, she had made a grunt of protest when he did that. She would be furious with him in the morning but he didn’t care he just wanted to see her sleeping and safe.

 

She was mumbling in her sleep, holding her head from the painful migraine. Why did she had to drink so much tonight? She groaned as she made her way to the bathroom, she turned the light on and sat on the edge of the bathroom. She felt sick to the bit of her stomach, her phone lit up with the time. It was five in the morning? What time had the both of them come home last night? She had just told the Doctor she had feelings for him, and she kissed him! How foolish she had acted how he must hate her now. In the morning she wouldn’t remember it, but she had probably destroyed their friendship forever.

 

She went out of the bathroom and closed the door quietly behind her. John was peaceful when he was sleeping or was he pretending to be sleeping? Did he feel the way she did right then?

 

John heard her going back to sleep on the couch, there was still the reminiscence of the taste of her lips on his own. She tasted like whisky, wine and gin all at once and simply, the sweetness of Clara. He saw her staring at the ceiling, he couldn’t see if she was awake, just saw the full head of chocolate brown hair. Her arms were around her chest as if she was cold, a part of him wanting hold her in his arms, take her back to his bed and watch her sleep just like he had a week ago.

 

  _“I love you like I’ve never loved anyone else,” he wanted to say to her. “I love your good heart, your fierceness, how argumentative you are”._ The words hung on his tongue like iron and it hurt like hell.

 

o.O

“Can we talk about last night?” Clara asked when they were walking out of the hotel and into the car.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” John asked as he turned the engine over.

 

“That’s kind of why I asked,” she said matter of factly.  

 

“No, not really,” he replied sternly.

 

 Their hands were almost touching, Clara looked towards the window where it started to rain, thunder rolled as the clouds started to roll, she was constantly reminded of the storm inside her heart.  “Are we ever going to talk about it?”. The engine spurred as David Bowie music began to play Clara reluctantly locked eyes with him, it was a mixture of longing and curiosity.

 

The two pretended the whole entire day was set on rewind, in between snores and grunts they had made their way to Kent which was on their mind, in the midst of a hangover over and slurry love confessions they had made their way. Singing off key, Clara got a blanket out of the car and in the backseat was a cooler with an assortment of foods. Soon it would be sunset and the faint shade of blue came across the sky. The waterfall was beautiful, the loud sound was overwhelming the access of long acres of land.

 

 Clara was taking off her clothes one by one to jump into the water, John gulped and pretended to clear his throat. “Clara, what are-uh, ahaha what are you doing?”

 

“Going to jump into the water, wanna join?”

 

“Turn around,” he ordered.

 

“Come on Doctor, we’ve known each other long enough. You can get undressed in front of me,” she told him.

 

Smirking she pulled him closer to her she began to unbutton his shirt. Stopping her hands, he silently said he could do it himself. His hand was still in hers, they were practically both naked, saving them both the awkwardness Clara let go of his hand.

 

Her eyebrow perked up as if to ask _“Ready?”._

 

She jumped first the slimy green grass in between her toes and began to run and jump into the cold water. Holding her breath she swam up to the top and gagged for air. John soon followed and landed behind her resulted of water splashing in her face. She laughed and splashed water right back at him, so she playfully punched him on his water soaked shirt. Looking down on her he was considerably a foot taller than her, she was near almost five feet and he was nearly six feet.

 

Eyes locking Clara felt the tension between them like a fervent flame in cold winter’s night. The stars shown, Clara began to pull away but she felt the shock of a hand on her waist pulling her tight against him. She wanted to ask “What are you doing?” but the words wouldn’t escape her mouth. Somehow she was tongue-tied when she was around him. He swam farther away from her near the edge of the waterfall where it met with the lake.

 

John climbed up from the water to the small area of grass under the waterfall. Clara gulped, John’s hands ran through his damp hair, she forced herself to turn away and breathed in air go under water.

 

 Drying herself off Clara lied on the grass with her head in the grass and the warm sun hitting her back. She felt the movement of the earth and felt the difference of weight. The Doctor- John, her friend, best friend, and previous lover? She didn’t know what they were to each other, she just knew they were addicted to each other.

_“The Doctor, he’s your what exactly?” Clara’s friend Amy asked. It was in college, a very long time ago, during Clara’s senior year in college._

 

_“An addiction,” Clara replied._

 

_During that night at college John and Clara were hungry and thirsty for each other, devouring in what seemed like an ocean of each other. A night Clara would never forget._

 

After putting on her clothes Clara made it back to the Impala to sleep, finding a blanket she wrapped it around herself. Seeing how peaceful she was he let her sleep and continued driving.

 

***

  When Clara woke up she saw the blurry vision of lights and sirens, hugging herself tightly she opened the passenger door and saw John kneeling beside a car, with a figure who looked like- Amy?! Running carefully, she skid across the glass of the broken glass until John caught her by the waist, mimicking what he did earlier.

 

“Is that-?”

 

“Amy,” he replied. “she’s unconscious, I didn’t call an ambulance I don’t trust doctors, I’ve studied it I could help her”.

 

“What happened?”

 

“Someone was following her- an old friend of mine Missy. She’s trying to find me, this was no accident. SHe’s trying to get my attention, and it worked”.

 

       Half carrying Amy into the Impala, Clara and John buckled her into the car and put a blanket around her. Clara had held Amy’s limp hand as they continued to drive. Slowing Amy gave signs that she was alive slowly moving her hand Clara felt her squeeze her hand. Giving out sighs of relief Clara pulled her friend closer.

 

      It was close to five o’clock in the morning before they made it in time to Amy’s apartment. Knowing her address from being her friend John found the keys in Amy’s jean jacket. Clara’s shoulder began to give out as John carried the extra weight he carried her to the couch.

 

     “Wouldn’t that hurt your back?”

 

     “I care more about Amy than myself at the moment”.

 

     “Doctor-”

 

     “Go get the medical bag and first aid kit from the Impala-quickly please”.

     Going back into the cool autumn air, Clara got the first aid kit from under the backseat and ran back into the house where Amy finally gained conscious. “Amy! You’re okay!”

 

“Oh Clara, it’s good to see you!”

 

   Sitting next to her friend, trying not to hurt her Clara squeeze Amy’s hand. The red haired woman had freckles and a round face, she had a jean jacket with a few threads loose and a _Star Wars_ t-shirt and leather boots.

 

“What did she do to you?” John demanded. “What did Missy do to you? Are there any other of my friends that have been hurt?”

 

“Rose is lost, Doctor. She’s gone. Donna forgot, she was in a car accident like me she doesn’t remember you”.

 

 John buried his face and let one of his hands drop in which Clara immediately took he pulled away and look incredibly tortured he took Amy’s hand instead as she pulled him into a hug. “I’m ok, Doctor”.

 

“I’m not sure I believe that,” he whispered into her hair.

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone sorry I haven't been able to update in awhile, I'm in college studying fro my final exams but here is the next chapter! Here in this chapter we'll find out exactly about the Doctor and Clara's past.

 

   Clara woke up next to Amy, and she had a cast on her fractured arm and a few battle scars. They both had fallen asleep on the two twin beds in the room. Yawning, Clara had put on her robe as she heard dinner plates clashing in the kitchen. It was John who was eating his bowl of cereal in his trousers and a white t-shirt.

    “When did you learn how to make a cast?”

  Clara startled him so much the cereal almost fell out of his hand. “Don’t sneak up on me like that!”

    “Sorry,” she replied quietly. “You should be speaking quietly Amy is still asleep”.

    “My father was a Doctor, he taught me everything I knew. Anyway- avoiding the subject of abandoned fathers I’ve tried to put aside my anger for Missy. I can’t, though. She has to strong of a hold on me”.

    Unsure how to approach him she took his hand. “You can break through this. Missy can’t control you, she can’t break you”.

    “What if I want her to? Look at what she did to Rose! Rose was lost, Missy kidnapped her, who knows what happened to her. What if she found you? I have to give her what she wants: me”.

     Clara threw herself around him and hugged him tight, a little annoyed with her touching him he felt himself given into the hug. She smooth the curls on the base of his head and breathed into his shoulder. “I won’t leave you”.

         A voice startled them both now. “What’s going on?”.

 

         “Amy….you’re awake,” the Doctor breathed. “Amy, I-”

 

       She kissed him on the cheek and cupped a side of his face. “Shut up you idiot”.

 

        “What happened to you…..”

 

        “No, we’re going to forget about that and focus on Missy”.

 

        “I can’t put you two in danger again,” the Doctor replied, he looked at Clara with a sad look. “not you, never again”.

 

        “We’ll figure it out,” Clara promised him.

 

        He wished that statement was true. That Amy and Clara were on the balcony while the Doctor had called Missy. Waiting for the ringing to stop the Doctor paced around until it picked up. “Doctor…”

 

    “Missy, you need to stop this, it has gone way too far,” the Doctor half yelled and half whispered. “You hurt someone I care about”.

 

    “I told you to stop all of this all you have to do is…”

 

    “Be with you,” he finished for her.

   

     “Clara will leave again you know, they all do,” Missy pointed out he could hear the truth in her voice like a sharp pain something he didn’t need to be reminded of. Clara left him in so many ways, this time he didn’t want to mess it up. None of it. The first time hurt him, he lost her just like he lost Rose, Clara she was there beautiful she was like a summer green leaf and then she faded like a leaf in autumn. She became too adventurous, she drove the Impala, she chose the next destination.

       One day, during zip lining Clara fell off at the end, it gave her a massive blow to the head. He never spoke to her again afterwards, they forgot about each other, something about seeing Clara’s hair covered in snowflakes from her hair and a little trail of blood in the pristine white snow made his heart break so much he wished he had two.

    He wished he had said a few things before they had gotten in the car.

       _I love you._

_I wish you knew how much I care about you, that I can’t stand to see you in the hospital._

     John supposed Clara forgave him for what he had done, he should have known she would have slipped if they had never had gotten in the car, if they had never slept together, if he didn’t love her as much as he did, that they never met it would be different.

    “Not Clara, not this time,” he replied firmly.

    “Doctor,” Clara said softly, coming up from behind him she wrapped her arms around his waist, he patted her hand slowly and gave a small smile from the both of them.

                _______________

    “You made him watch Star Wars?” Amy laughed as she wrapped her hand around the warm tea in her hand. Clara laughed heartedly with her as the Doctor had rolled his eyes.

     “Childish behavior,” he mumbled. “it was stupid and inaccurate”.

     “Says the amature astrophysicist,” Amy laughed.

     “He kissed his sister!” the Doctor protested. “I can see why you two liked it so much”. He smirked while watching his milk settle in his Chai tea, Clara knew he liked the movie he was just being stubborn.

     “Your stubborn and you knew that you liked that movie,” Clara teased.

     “Enough about the bull that is Star Wars, I want to know who was the guy that was following Amy. Amy, do you have any idea who he was?”.

     “No, I don’t unless he was who I think he was-”

     “No, it couldn’t be Rory- he’s dead,” the Doctor interrupted.

     “Rory? _The_ Rory?” Clara asked. “Why would he betray us like that?”

    “To be safe and not to be tortured by Missy,” the Doctor explained  through gritted teeth. “I’m going to make her wish she was dead. I have had just about enough of what she’s doing just to get to me. I think all three of us know the solution, I’ll have to hand myself over”.

    “No!” Clara and Amy protested at the same time.

    “We’ll rescue Rory and try to hand Missy over to the police,” Clara replied.

    “Agreed,” The Doctor replied. “But I don’t know how we’ll succeed”.

    “We will,” Clara reassured him.

        ______________________________

   The Doctor couldn’t tell Clara what Missy had said on the phone, it was to painful to even think about being separated from her but if it kept her safe let it be. He knew Clara suspected something, she looked at him longingly with her brown eyes that were full of concern and fear.

  She always knew when he was lying to her, and even after all those years the soft yet passionate memory of making love in his apartment. She wondered what was it about them that caused a drift between them? Complicated past? Buried feelings? Through dinner it seemed like a uncomfortable loud silence of unspoken words between them. It seemed like they were on a long road but to what exactly?

   With a room across from hers the Doctor was thinking of the night they shared in his apartment.

   _“Clara, I’m fine,” the Doctor groaned in protest._

_“You’re not fine you suffered a concussion that is nothing to joke about,” Clara scoffed and rested a hand on his cheek. His whole body had stiffened at her touch and looked the other way pulling the covers to his neck._

_“Fine, if you don’t want be here, I’ll go,” Clara replied, taking her coat._

_He grabbed her hand, a silent plea asking her to stay. “Why do you push me away?”_

_There are rules,” he explains, his tongue rolling on the “s”, sending shivers down her spine._

_So break them!” she almost yelled._

_“I could lose my job Clara, if they knew how we-”_

_“How we what? I thought there wasn’t a ‘we’!” she practically screamed, “I just had about enough of this. I’m not a stand in for Amy or anyone Doctor, you know just as worse as any professor here, I came here studying English, studying to become a teacher. I don’t care about age difference. It just proves you don’t know anything about me”._

_He had pulled her with such a force she had collapsed against him. She gave out a chuckle of surprise as he gave her a quick kiss on her neck. Every sense in her body stiffened, she smiled and kissed him softly. It was tentative and sweet like a test. “Clara, ummm…..what if I’m not what you want? Does my body disgust you?”_

_She kissed him firmly again rested her hand on the base of her neck. Those smokey blue eyes met her earthy brown eyes, he was so beautiful.  “Does that answer your question?”_

_“Here,” he began as he unlocked Clara’s hand from the grasp of his pajama shirt. He began to unbutton her top shirt, she stopped his hand and discarded her blouse. A soft hand glided on her shoulders, tracing all her marks and scars. She felt the undeniable burning fill up her senses._

_Seeing her need never breaking eye contact he took off his flannel pajamas. Desperate, Clara began kissing his exposed skin. He ran his fingers through hair keeping her in the same place. She reached for the seam of his shirt and pulled it over him._

_Somehow during the blur of the heat, the Doctor moved them to his bedroom, she had kicked opened the door as both of them had fallen on the bed. Taking her capri pants off she wrapped her legs around him, his hardness grinding against the thin fabric. She gasped a little , she was on firing forever burning with desire. She reached for whatever fabric she could of him, desperate._

_“Clara,” he whispered breathlessly. “what do you want?”_

_That was a stupid question, wouldn’t he know by now? She unbuttoned his shirt revealing his beautiful chest of silver hair. He unbuttoned the rest of his shirt as Clara reached up to run her hands on his chest. He lowered himself carefully as Clara smiled up at him._

_“Is this what you want, Clara?”_

_“Does the question really need an answer?” she teased._

_He looked overwhelmed, completely struck by the beautiful goddess that was underneath him she moved along with him like the ocean riding on the sand._

                    ________

_In the morning Clara felt the intense bright light of the sun coming in through the window. A familiar warm arm was around her, she opened her eyes in terror when she noticed that the arm around her was the Doctors. She slept with John, her professor, her best friend. She relaxed into him and opened her eyes. “John?”_

_“Hmm, what is it?”_

_He was still delirious from last night, he still hadn’t opened his eyes. “Nothing”._

_“Then stop staring,” he almost smiled._

_“Sorry”._

_There were two reasons she had starred, one was the complete realization that they had slept together, two was just him._


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

 

John and Clara had gotten to a restaurant alone, Amy was asleep with her arm in her cast. Both John and Clara had left her after watching an episode of Game of Thrones. As they walked outside John had offered his arm in mock gallantry, as the warm summer air hit their faces. Some of the leaves had fallen down bringing an end to long humid days. “It’s sad that everything ends,” Clara said looking up at the trees.

 

“Not everything,” John replied with his hands in his pocket. “Not love”.

 

He knew there was a double meaning in her comment, she wasn’t just talking about the end of summer, he wondered if she meant the night they had shared many years ago. He was thinking about it last night, every detail was so vivid as if his many dreams of time travelling came true. As if he was reliving it all: the coat Clara was wearing and her capri pants, the grabbing of her arm.

 

They shared a brief intense glance, it seemed like a tug on Clara’s heart strings as if she couldn’t stop looking at him. They had shared this before in college travelling with Amy and Rory. Brief intense stares as Clara had looked out the window looking at the rain she could feel John’s stare on her.

 

This time Clara broke the silence. “Are we taking the train?”

 

“Yes, into New York City we go,” he said through awkward clearings of his throat.

 

Linking arms Clara sat across from him on the train. “Everything will be fine with Missy”.

 

“After what she did to Amy? I’m done giving her chances,” John snapped.

“Not that, I’m just saying I can take care of myself,” Clara said with crossed arms.

 

“Come here,” he said softly.

 

She reluctantly found her balance and sat down a considerable distance away from him. He took her hands in his own and pressed a kiss to her palm where her heartline was. “Right here, is my duty of care. You don’t have to ask, friend, lover, girlfriend whatever you are you will always have my protection”.

 

Touched she had leaned into him as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. In the midst of the comfortable silence she had leaned into him grabbing the comfortable leather jacket he was wearing. She now had a choice to make, she looked up at him but he had his eyes closed.

 

Getting off the train, Clara followed him to Times Square. In the middle of the patio, up a couple of steps up was a table set for two. There was a selection of all her favorite meals. Soon enough the realization had set in. “John- Doctor what is going on?”

 

“It’s a date,” he explained. “An apology one”

 

“For what exactly? John, I demand right here and now what is going on?!”

 

“You were always a control freak,” he mumbled under his breath. “Please let me explain.

 

She stared at the folding chairs in front of her and looked at John, he looked sincere and almost somber. “I talked to Missy before we came out of the house. We’ve reached an agreement”.

 

“What agreement?” Clara asked coldly.

 

“She has certain videos and emails revealing our complicated relationship when I was your professor”.

 

“Oh”

 

“I said I would give up my relationship with you as long as she didn’t send out those videos to certain schools you are looking for. I know you are currently trying to get a teaching career, I found one for you in Coal Hill High School in England. There is also a flat that I found for you and Ritchie, it’s paid for, don’t worry. I did this for you because I care about you, and I love you, Clara”.

 

As speechless as she was Clara gave a small smile, but behind it was a full range of emotions. Smack him, kiss him or walk away occured to her. If she kissed him they both wouldn’t know how the relationship would turn out. If she smacked him she would regret it, he was a coward, a complete and utter ass. Walking away didn’t solve anything, so she did what she wanted to do in a long time.

 

The taste of her lips was intoxicating, from the moment she had pulled her chair closer to him he prepared himself. His hands found a way to to her neck, brushing the smooth base of her snow white skin. “You’re a coward, you know that?”

 

“Yes, I do. Will you take the job?”

 

“If it makes you feel better, yes I will”.

 

He smiled in relief.

 

“It doesn’t change the fact that I’m angry with you. I think you gave up too easily,” she cut coldly. The words cut the air between them.

 

“Are you ever going to talk to me again?” he asked softly and almost childishly.

 

“Hopefully, I hope so,” she asked, her entire face showed no emotion but impassiveness. He took her hand and lead her into a grand land pass filled with trees and other couples. He offered his hand and drew her closer to her.

 

“I love you, too,” he heard her whisper.

 

______________

 

Amy had gotten Rory eventually driven in a black limo he came offering flowers and a second chance, Amy had gladly taken it. Clara had gone too in the morning, she had taken the first plane home. Back to Ritchie, back to the promises she had made him. They had lived together, shared a life together and then she had run off with a complete stranger and just confessed her love for him last night? Was she drunk? They were friends more than lovers nothing more, nothing less.

 

John had returned home to find a note Missy had written for him saying “Welcome home”. He crumbled it and threw it away slamming his bedroom door behind him. He took his jacket off and his sweatshirt and put in the pile of clothes that were on his chair next to the king size bed. Finally getting undressed he had turned the tub water on. He had made the right choice? Letting go of Clara, like that giving her a life she had always wanted if she had never met him. If she had never fallen off that ski slope and hit her head, if he had never acted like an idiot if she was never in love with him.

 

Three little words held so much meaning and hung in the air between them but was it the right time to say those words, they were given a second chance and both of them had blew it. Softly was that kiss the ending to their adventure on the long road was bittersweet.

 

Putting a towel on John had written down several questions for the game they had never finished.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

 

Clara made her way to her house- their house- Ritchie’s house. She figured what she would ask when she had walked through that door. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to marry Ritchie? Did she still love him? The past few weeks had given her a perspective on her complicated relationship with John. A loving relationship that had a long history of love, devotion and unrequited love. At least she had thought for the longest time. 

The lights were out but soft jazz music was playing. Using her key she had called his name. No sound came but soft giggling. Her heart rate picked up when she discovered Ritchie was playing the piano in his office. “Ritchie?”

“Clara?” the question was almost incredulous. 

“Yeah I’m here,” she replied softly and hesitant. She saw the television was on and sighed. 

He gathered her in his arms like she had weighed no more than a feather. He smoothed out her hair and gave her a long bruising kiss, then brushing his lips against her own he moved to her cheek and and then her jawline. She slightly backed a way. 

“You came back”. 

“I did,” she replied coldly. 

“Now I have a surprise for you, don’t go away! I’ll be right back!” he replied and went to their room. 

“Oh no,” she whispered to herself. 

She turned around and there he was with a box in his hand. “I wanted it to be special. I know that I’m asking a lot. All I know is that I love you”. 

“Ritchie stop! I kissed someone else!”  
He stopped frozen solid. “Like drunk kissing?” he chuckled nervously. “Did you regret it? Was it John? Please don’t tell me it was John I’ll kick that bastard”.

“It was John,” she confessed softly. “He told me he loved me. That’s why I came back”. 

“Did you say you loved him too?”. Ritchie was choking on his own words, choking on jealousy, rage and fear. Fear of losing her. 

“Yeah- I-I did,” she said choking on her own words and regret. 

He closed his eyes as if sinking the information in. He threw the ring on the ground. “You didn’t sleep together did you?”

“No,” she replied. 

“Well, this is what we’re going to do- we’ll get married and you’ll never see John again because he’s in America and I was sitting here in England waiting for you for three weeks!”

For three weeks in the five weeks they had spent together the Doctor was counting on Missy finding out that she and John had slept together. She wanted to smack him, but she couldn’t there was a whole in her heart where the Doctor would be. “It settled then,” Clara reluctantly agreed. “I’ll marry you”. 

“Great but for now I think it’s best if you sleep in my office”. 

____________________________

Clara looked at the rain flicking on the window pane, she snuggled her blanket to cover her chest more. She heard her phone ding and reached for it rubbing her eyes. In the text was written”

Did you settle in England?

Yeah, I did. Ritchie proposed. Thank you for everything.   
No problem. 

There was a long wait in between texts the three dots that went back and forth. Did you tell him about us the night before you left? 

Yeah, I told him everything. 

He still wants to be married to you?

It seems that way. 

I still love you, and I’m always here. 

It was then when she had locked her phone and closed her eyes and let herself be consumed by the darkness. 

________

Clara grunted as Ritchie moved inside her, she looked away from him until he had come. He collapsed beside her and let out of sigh of happiness, he had kissed her cheek before going to the bathroom. “Did you by more condoms?” she asked. 

“Not recently,” he replied hesitantly cleaning his hands. 

“We’re not trying to have a baby are we? Unless you want to”. 

“Of course I want to but I think we should wait until we get married”.

“Right well I’m going to go Coal Hill, I’ll see you tonight!” she said as she threw on a few clothes a skirt with a striped blouse. She didn’t even both to kiss him she had just walked out the door and went to school.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay but let's see where the Doctor and Clara left off, shall we?

 “So Jane Austen,” Clara said to her tenth grade class. “Comical writer and comical observer and strictly amongst ourselves a phenomenal kisser”. 

 

Her class laughed as she looked at her phone, five missed calls from the Doctor and five news texts. Saying “Where are you? Are you safe?”. At this point it was becoming a little annoying, caring about her this much. It made it more difficult to put aside feelings she had developed for John over the few weeks they spent together, to give time to Ritchie who had proposed to her. It wasn’t exactly the ideal proposal and not the one that she wanted. It seemed like the right choice at the moment but she missed John and she wanted him more than anyone else, even though he was a nuisance she had had loved him more than Ritchie. 

 

“Miss Oswald?” Courtney asked. “Are you alright?”

 

“I don’t think that’s a appropriate question. I think the most appropriate question would be to tell me what you know about Jane Austen”.

 

“Sorry Miss Oswald,” Courtney mumbled. 

 

Courtney was right, Clara’s heart had hurt and it was because of John, the Doctor and damn him for making her love him, it was his fault she had went on the road trip with him, despite their complicated she somehow subconsciously wanted this to happen. To fall for him. 

 

 As Clara went home she looked at the ring on her finger, it was gorgeous and diamond all over, it was so sparkly and for some reason it seemed so real, it didn’t feel right and the ring was already starting to make a mark on her finger. A mark that indicated if she made the right choice or not, Ritchie had always told her that John was the wrong choice but why did the wrong choice feel like the right choice?

 

Her heart lifted at the thought of running away and being with John, travelling to her heart’s content and loving him seemed easy enough. John was a complicated man, with a complicated way of loving. It was hard getting to know him, and she knew that but it seemed worth it even if it was complicated. 

 

___________

 

 John looked at Missy with a sarcastic smile and made his way to his computer taking his reading glasses he typed a message to Clara. “Remember the rules?” Missy asked in her singsong voice. “No Clara, when the cat is the way the mice will play. But this cat has claws and I always catch my bait”. She wrapped the blanket around herself skipped playfully to the bathroom putting toothpaste on her toothbrush. 

 

“Ready for round two?”

 

He had given himself to Missy to keep him and their videos safe. He grunted quietly to himself and had given Missy her business suit. “Get out of my apartment, you’ve had your fun with me”.

 

She came uncomfortably close to him breathing her toxic breath into his mouth. “You like this arrangement and you know it,” she tantalized him. 

 

He smiled strangely and sarcastically and moved to open the door out of his tiny apartment, she moved loud enough to let her heels amplify the halo apartment. “No I don’t,” he replied. 

 

As Missy left, he realized how many open ends were left in him and Clara’s relationship. He drove quickly and fast to Clara’s school, Coal Hill High School. Driving in carefully he remembered her classroom number. He opened the class to find it empty. All there was left was a couple of pencils and notebooks she had graded. 

 

“John?” a familiar voice asked. “Doctor, what are you doing here?”

 

“I didn’t want to go a few months without telling you that Missy and I are in a complicated relationship, but I was wondering if you want to go get a cup of coffee?”

 

Was he serious? Was she dreaming? She scoffed, opening the classroom door she sat at the front desk as if she was the teacher and he was the student. “I’ll see my schedule but I can promise you not. You can’t just expect me go out with you when Missy has you in her own twisted way. And I’m engaged to be married to a man I don’t even love anymore because of the month and a half I spent with you,” Clara said. 

 

“ _ I hate you _ for that. Nothing prepared me for loving you, and then the realization hit me like a ton of bricks, that I have never loved Ritchie, that I terrified that you had turned me away and I have been waiting for you and I’m terrified that you won’t love me again”. 

  
  


“Clara, I-”

 

“I’m not done yet. How dare you come in asking me for coffee, when you don’t have your affairs in order. And it seems that your Missy’s puppet So get out of my classroom, I have another class”. 

 

She was looking down at her grading, her pen grinding into her teeth as she made comments in between the notebook margins. 

 

“I know it doesn’t mean anything but I love you, I know things are fucked up right now- and you know how much I hate cursing so you know I mean it. I love  _ you _ ,” he raised his voice in emphasis. 

 

“I know,” she replied. “but I think you deserve someone who says those words back to you in the appropriate time”.

 

“You love me too?”

 

“It’s not the appropriate time,” she replied not looking at him. 

 

_ I love you too.  _

  
 He closed the door and looked at the woman he loved one last time.  


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is my Christmas present to you guys, I hope you enjoyed it!

“Have you made wedding preparations yet?” Ritchie asked Clara over dinner. She looked down at her dinner plate and then at him. 

“Some,” she lied. She hadn’t made any plans yet since John had come to visit her in her classroom, she had sort of been procrastinating and putting it off. Her phone dinged and glowed with a message from the Doctor. 

“I thought you weren’t in contact with him,” Ritchie remarked coldly. 

“I wasn’t,” she snapped. “I can’t help it if he texts me”. 

“Then block him!”

Clara slapped her hands on the table and let out a scream, she took a suitcase from upstairs and brought it to the front door. “I want you to leave”. She wiggled the ring off her finger and put it on the island in the middle of the kitchen. Ritchie stared wide eyed at her and saw her ring in front of him. 

“I thought I could make you fall in love with me again, I guess I was wrong.. You’re in love with that John Smith of yours and you know it”. 

“Of course I know!” she practically yelled at him. “No please leave”. 

He stormmed out of the room and took his suitcase slamming the front door behind him. She felt a wave of relief, from the moment he left she went back into her room, the indent of Ritchie’s form was still there. Then she realized if John was there everything would be fine, she would be happy with me. 

____________

John had played the song to the producer, singing the words into the microphone he saw his producer smile and clap. The song was called “Clara” a song he had written instead of sleeping. He had thought of her constantly instead of sleeping. 

As he got off the step stool he opened the door to be greeted by Clara. “Clara, what the hell are you doing in Glasgow?”

“Okay...not the response I was expecting,” she mumbled. 

She wore a large blue coat and a red scarf to protect her chest from the cold, her heart was fluttering from the thought of being with him, his cold greeting was not what she expected. It was alright she knew him and what he could be, the nice man she knew him to be. 

“I’m sorry, I just thought- well I thought after I-”

“I know,” she smiled . 

John gave his producer a knowing look, in which the plump bald man smiled and walked out of the door. “Can we talk?” she asked. 

“Talk,” he said impassively holding a hand out in emphasis. 

“Ritchie left, it’s just me alone in a big empty house,” she started taking his open hand. “and I’m assuming everything is done with Missy”. He nodded, not saying anything only offering a smile. “I have an empty space next to me in my bed, I was rather hoping you wouldn’t mind being with me? I don’t know if I was too late, and who knew maybe we were both idiots, but I love you very much”. 

He pulled her tight to him enclosing his lips on hers, she tightened her grip around him smoothing his soft silver hair. His tongue swirled in her mouth so delicately it made her melt. His mouth moved to her neck placing a soft kiss there. He hugged her tightly, smoothing her soft brown hair, mimicking what Clara had done earlier. 

“I love you too,” he smiled into her neck. 

“Do you want to go home?”

“That sounds good,” he replied softly. 

 

__________

After cleaning herself Clara saw the Doctor’s form her bed, his body outlined by the moonlight. She took a moment before putting on John’s shirt and climbing back into bed into his arms that instinctively wrapped around her small body. “Are you happy?” she whispered. 

“Yes I am,” he replied without a smile, but with the smallest hint. 

“Does Missy still have the evidence of us together?”

“No, I destroyed them. We’re fine. Do you want to stay in Glasgow with me?”

“Don’t you want to come home with me?”

“If you stay here, you’ll be away from Missy,” he reminded her. 

“True,” she agreed. “but my job at Coal Hill…”

“We’ll both go to England that way Missy hopefully stays in America,” he suggested. 

“Agreed,” she smiled reaching up to kiss him again. 

Both of them fell asleep in the moonlight, even if it was a long road to finding each other, they were happy even if it was only for a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for everyone who has left kudos, saved, viewed, bookmarked or commented on this story. I hope you stay in tune for the next installment: Braveheart. I also have a few AU's planned so please stay in tune!

**Author's Note:**

> My second au please leave a comment and tell me what you think.


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